


The Queen's Heart

by Janina, mynameisnoneya



Series: At Her Majesty's Service [5]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Heartbreak, Heavy Angst, Jaime Lannister Lives, Jaime Lannister Redemption, Jon Snow is a Mess, Love Triangles, Past Relationship(s), Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, Sansa Stark is Queen in the North, Soul-Searching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:29:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27619751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janina/pseuds/Janina, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mynameisnoneya/pseuds/mynameisnoneya
Summary: For a few moments, neither speaks, the pair of them silently staring one another down as if a duel to the death is about to commence.  She straightens her back, lifts her chin, and prepares herself for whatever happens next.  She’s known this day would come.  She knew he would come for her eventually.  She’s surprised it’s taken this long, to be honest.
Relationships: Jaime Lannister/Sansa Stark, Jon Snow & Sansa Stark, past Jon Snow/Sansa Stark - Relationship
Series: At Her Majesty's Service [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2002744
Comments: 44
Kudos: 77





	The Queen's Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This story is the fifth in the series, _At Her Majesty's Service_ , a collaborative effort by mynameisnoneya and Janina. It can be read on its own, but we recommend reading it after the other four previous works to help it all make sense!
> 
> Please note that we made sure to tag any and all characters that appear in this work, whether they have a speaking role or not.
> 
> General disclaimer: GoT characters and quotes belong to GRMM - we own nor claim nothing!
> 
> If you enjoyed this work, please let us know by leaving comments and kudos!

“I just don’t understand it,” Jon grumbles as he bursts into the room ahead of Sansa. “I’ll _never_ understand it.”

As she shuts the door, she inhales and exhales slowly. She knows perfectly well what he means, but she isn’t in the mood to make it easy on him. “Understand what?”

“You know _what_.”

“If you can’t say it, then perhaps we shouldn’t be talking about it.”

Jon’s jaw clenches before he barks. “Why in the name of the seven you chose the likes of _him_ , that’s what!”

“What I do in the privacy of my chambers – and with _whom_ – is none of your concern,” she replies coolly, folding her arms defiantly in front of her while he continues pacing the length of the room like a caged animal, “and I suggest you refrain from addressing me in that tone any further.”

Jon’s boots screech to a halt, and when he wheels around, his whole face reeks of annoyance. “Is that an order, Your Grace?”

She grits her teeth but holds her ground. “Take it as you wish.”

For a few moments, neither speaks, the pair of them silently staring one another down as if a duel to the death is about to commence. She straightens her back, lifts her chin, and prepares herself for whatever happens next. She’s known this day would come. She knew he would come for her eventually. She’s surprised it’s taken this long, to be honest.

“Tell me,” he asks, his slow, purposeful steps bringing him closer and closer to her, “what do you think Father would say if he were alive?”

Sansa scoffs. “If Father were alive, then everything right now would be completely different, and you know it. Stop trying to bait me.”

He ignores her rising ire. “Would he approve of you allowing a Lannister to live here, in Winterfell, our ancestral home?”

“That’s enough, Jon.”

“Would he approve of your involvement with a man who fathered children with his own sister, no less? The same man who brought untold misery to our family?”

Sansa lips purse and her nostrils flare. “I said, that’s _enough._ ”

“How could you?” Jon’s standing right in front her now, his narrowed eyes boring holes into her. “How could you let the man who murdered Jory crawl into your bed?”

Her hand stings when it meets Jon’s cheek, but she’s too furious to care.

“How _dare_ you,” she hisses at him as he rubs his reddening skin. “How dare you pass judgment on me.”

“Sansa, I - ”

“You’re the one who bent the knee, remember?” she cuts in, her anger at his audacity loosening the tongue she’s held far too long. “You’re the one who handed over the North and pledged fealty to that power-hungry woman for a dragon ride and a taste of Targaryen cunt.”

Jon’s gray eyes widen in shock. “That’s not fair!”

“Life isn’t fair, Jon. It never has been, and it never will be. Trust me, I’m well-versed on that front.” She shakes her head in frustration. “That’s still no excuse for you making decisions with your cock.”

“I did what I did to protect our people,” Jon replies irritably. “I did it to protect our home . . . I did it to protect _you_!”

Sansa rolls her eyes. “Spare me the soliloquy. We both know you did what you did because you thought yourself in love with the little white-haired lunatic, not out of some sense of duty to protect me or your family. Not once did you stop to consider the impact your actions had on everyone else around you. Perhaps if you had, you’d have thought twice before crawling into _her_ bed, cousin.”

Jon winces, and her gut aches. The constant tension between them is wearing her to the bone, and she is weary from walking on egg shells around him. She does not want to hurt him any more than she wishes to be hurt by him. Pulling herself together, she heaves a heavy breath before she reaches out to grab his hand. 

“We’ve both made plenty of mistakes, you and I, and we’ll make countless others before we pass this life.” His eyes slowly rise from where their hands are joined, and she reminds herself that he’s struggling to find peace with what has transpired, just like she is. “Please, Jon. Let us stop judging one another. No good will ever come of it.”

A moment passes as he stands there in silence, absorbing her declaration. When he softly squeezes her hand, barely cracking a smile, her heart pounds in her chest. He’s looking at her the way he used to look at her before everything changed between them, before the other woman entered the picture and stole him from her.

“Sansa, do you ever . . . do you ever wonder what would’ve happened between us if I’d stayed here and hadn’t gone to Dragonstone?”

She can’t prevent her sharp intake of breath. They’ve danced around the issue for so long now, she imagined they never would broach the subject of what might have been. Reluctant to dredge up old wounds, however, she hesitates to answer, but his eager expression softens her resolve. She decides to share the truth if only in part.

“I have,” she says softly. “I have thought about it extensively.” She elaborates no further, refusing to dwell too long on her heartbreak at his hands. 

“Me too,” he whispers.

Sansa realizes Jon is staring at her mouth, and her pulse races at the thought of him pressing his lips to hers. She is confused by her reaction to him, her mind clouded by his proximity and his deep voice and the longing in his gray eyes. 

“It haunts me day and night,” he continues, tenderly squeezing her hand once again. “I shouldn’t have left. I should have stayed here, with you. For you. You wouldn’t have run to him otherwise.”

“Jon, I - ” As his words slowly seep into her consciousness, her anger resurfaces. He has turned her decision to seek comfort with Jaime into a reaction, not a choice. He has stripped her of her agency. He has made everything that has happened between them all about him.

“I was a fool,” Jon continues, lifting her hand to his lips and placing a gentle kiss on her knuckles. “Everything I ever wanted or needed was right here the whole time. I was simply too blind to see it.”

“Don’t.” She shakes her head violently, pulling her hand away from his. “Please, don’t.”

“Give me a chance, Sansa,” he says as he draws closer. “Give me a chance to prove my worthiness to you, and I swear, I’ll never leave your side again.”


End file.
